Everyone is [ontologically] straight
even the queeniest 6 on the Kinsey Scale
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While riding the subway, I enjoy engaging in what I call “anthropological research” [eavesdropping]. I overheard a very good-looking young woman telling her boyfriend about a flamboyant gay classmate whom she ran into at a bar. He pulled the classic “you look so good…gurl. I love that dress.”
At first, she felt safe. Yet as he kept drinking, he got rather touchy feely with her. He started putting his arm around her and telling her how good she looked, then asked her for her IG. He DMed her the next day saying they should meet up…to talk about their class, of course.
The girl was confused…and clearly felt a little guilty while telling her bf this. [She kept emphasizing how queeny he was.] Was he just a flirty queen? Was he a little bicurious? I had to stop myself from leaning over and saying, “gurl, he was feeling you. Even if he’s a rainbow flag-toting, Charlie XCX-loving, 6 on the Kinsey Scale, that doesn’t stop the ontologically complementary design of the Creator from kicking in from time to time!”
While I do indeed believe that on a sociological and psychological level, “we are all gay now,” on an ontological level, human beings will always be heterosexual.
I first discovered this insight when talking to a classmate in undergrad who went to the Courage Apostolate. On top of buying into Courage’s “don’t say gay” policy, he also told me that he is actually straight, but just happens to “struggle with same sex attractions.” Human beings are ordered toward complementarity, he explained. The way our instinctive desires manifest on the surface does not alter the imprint of the Creator’s design at the core of our being.
At first I was like “bruh [gurl], wutttt?” But over time, I started to see that he had a point. [Inevitably, this young man eventually left Courage and reverted to being a Pride-parade marching, “Love is Love” posting, speedo-sporting, Beyonce-dancing queer.]
We will return to this insight in just a moment.