on priests 'coming out'

the lost art of subtlety

In light of the Vatican saying they’re cool with letting (some) open inverts into the seminary, we’re unlocking this lovely piece. Have fun.

So in light of the frocciagine fiasco, I just wanted to offer some more thoughts on the phenomenon of gay priests. It seems to be a trend now for priests with predominantly homoerotic tendencies to publicly announce this—more often than not on the internet. I have many reservations about this trend—not so much moral or theological (which I do indeed have), but for “aesthetic” ones.

Ultimately, there’s something undeniably cringe about a priest coming out of the closet.

I get it. Your recognition of the inherent beauty of the male form often takes on a sexual charge. Perhaps you felt alienated from other boys growing up (not because you were “born gay,” but because—as Paglia says—you were “strange”). Maybe you got bullied for your perceived sexual orientation. That’s rough.

But what I can’t seem to understand is why you think I’m interested in knowing this about you. Further, I find it concerning that you think you are so important that you have a “duty” to present your “identity” to the world.

To put it bluntly, you are not important. Your feelings do not matter. You are here to serve, to sacrifice yourself and die for the salvation of your flock.

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Yes, I’m being hyperbolic. Your life matters, and so do your feelings.

But I just can’t help but feel that there’s something deeply immature and narcissistic about a priest divulging intimate details about his personal life to his “public.” Surely, there are occasions where it is appropriate or even helpful for priests to share personal experiences with their flock. But the notion of the priest having a “public image” doesn’t seem to fit the ideal of the vocation.

This applies not just to the priests who proudly announce their gayness on the internet, but to most priests who have a large social media presence. Gay or straight, priests should not be curating online identities. Sometimes I can’t decide who’s worse: the priest who comes out, the priest who posts pix of himself lifting weights “for the glory of the Kingdom,” or the priest who posts his hot takes on political issues—all of whom need to be reminded: no one cares!

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Gone are the days of alluringly subtle depictions of sensuality in film¹…which highlight both the beauty and mystery of the body and desire. Now, all we have is raw, instinctive sex scenes that leave no room for the imagination.

IMO, one of the most gorgeous depictions of human sexuality on film happened with the actors’ clothes on and with very little touching.

The availability of graphically sexual content, the publicization of people’s “sexual identity,” and the notion of curating and projecting an identity of any sort are emblematic of our collective loss of imagination. We have lost our esteem for subtlety and ambiguity, which has made it more and more difficult to perceive mystery, the transcendent, the “meta.”

Priests who “reveal all” make it harder for those following them to enter into the eternal mysteries they claim to be a sacramental sign of. They need to recover the lost art of subtlety and ambiguity, allowing more space for the mystery of the sacrament to outshine the mundane details about their personal lives. Actually, we’d all do well to embrace the fact that no one cares about our personal lives/our identities, to stop oversharing, and learn to revel in the allure of ambiguity.

To learn how to do this, I suggest they read some Lasch and Warhol (as well as my review of Manuel Betancourt’s book).

Disclaimer: This criticism mostly pertains to Roman Catholic priests of the Latin Rite who are celibate. I understand that for married priests, it is more appropriate to divulge some details of their personal lives. And I also understand that in the Anglican Church, where there are gay married priests, it makes more sense to share one’s romantic proclivities with one’s flock. Though I’d still think that a Greek Orthodox priest who announces the birth of his baby on Facebook or an Episcopal priest who does a “coming out post” on IG is insufferably cringe…

graphics by @revolvingstyle

1. “In the 1950s and ’60s, austere European art films attained a stunning sexual sophistication via magnetic stars like Jeanne Moreau, Delphine Seyrig and Catherine Deneuve. The movies have always shown how elemental passions boil beneath the thin veneer of civilization. By their power of intimate close-up, movies reveal the subtleties of facial expression and the ambiguities of mood and motivation that inform the alluring rituals of sexual attraction.” -Paglia